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Truth is I think women just take a lot less crap than they used to. A man who hits a woman is now viewed as a man who has a problem. It used to be a woman's fault for "doing something" that made her man beat her when he was in a drunken rage, or angry with his life lot in general and would take it out on her. Society now condemns a woman for putting up with that type of behavior, and encourages her to end the marriage. To view the other side of it: men no longer have the same societal blessings to resort to any method to "keep his woman under control." It's easier for a woman to have a wandering eye now that we move freely in society. I think that some people (both male and female) are predisposed to cheating due to either ego or a tendency to desire attention. But when a man's world consisted mostly of other males (remember the 'affair with the secretary' stereotype?), and a woman's world consisted mostly of other mothers, it was harder to find potential partners. The world is more integrated, and people are far lonelier than they used to be.
[1 point]4 years ago by sillynillyReplyEdited 4 years ago by sillynilly
Wasn't there an O. Henry story where a woman was proud of her black eye because she considered it proof of his love? (Of course, I reckon people should take into account O. Henry was a man, eh?)
If his story genuinely reflected 19th century mores, women sure were dumb back then, huh? :-)
"Til death do us part" is what makes it so easy to get a divorce these days. Lifetime contracts are not legally enforcable. In the eyes of the law, marriage vows aren't worth the breath it takes to speak them.
Pray tell, how does the "Till death do us part" make it EASIER to get a divorce. The vows don't mean anything if those giving these vows aren't serious.
Read my original comment. In the eyes of the law, "til death do us part" makes the marriage contract a lifetime contract and, therefore, not legaly enforcable. Either party can end it at any time the choose, for any reason, or no reason at all.
Absolutely, but when you get a marriage license you make it a civil and legal matter. Therefore, it is the court, not the church that establishes the ground rules for what is and what is not enforcable. The courts have decided that lifetime contracts are NEVER enforcable. Too many people (most, in fact) don't think about what they're doing before entering into a marriage. Marriage is not the result of wonderful feelings. It is a lifetime commitiment, before God, for two people to become as one in God's eyes. Unfortunately, very few people turn to God when things get a lttle difficult in their marriage. They turn to the law. And the law says they can just walk away whenever they want to. Sad, isn't it?
[1 point]4 years ago by revsteve1958ReplyEdited 4 years ago by revsteve1958
Yes it is sad. My wife and I just celebrated our 50th anniversary and we went through good and bad times (economically), but we stuck it out. My wife deserves most of the credit.
I agree with your first sentence, it does take some bravery to admit there is no use to staying together. I don't think it is greatly socially unacceptable to be divorced these days and I just don't know why people that loved each other, at one time, would let themselves get to the point where they would hurt each other instead of giving up on the marriage and divorcing?
I don't know either. Maybe in the old days people couldn't control their emotions as well as they can today. Maybe violence seemed more acceptable than divorce? Having not been in either situation, I'm just guessing. I think if there are more pluses to staying married stay married. If there are more minuses, get divorced.
A union that has run out of love has no pluses in my experiences, only suffering that isn't needed and is no benefit to the well being of either person.
Simple list #1 - get divorced: no love (-), not friends (-), do nothing together (-), don't sleep together (-), no sex (-), eat meals together (+), watch some TV together (+), split the bills (+). Five minuses. Three pluses.
Simple list #2 - stay married: some love (0), friends (+), do some stuff together (0), eat meals together (+), split the bills (+), watch some TV together (+), sleep together (+), no sex (-). Five pluses, Two nulls, One minus.
A case where the pluses outweigh the minuses.
Well, okay, ...just barely. :-)
[1 point]4 years ago by ChipmonkReplyEdited 4 years ago by Chipmonk
It really takes a lot of work to make a marriage work. A lot of sacrifice on both sides. Marriage this day is trivialized. My wife and I got married at the age of 20, in 1958, and just celebrated our 50th anniversary. Except for my military service overseas, our kids always had a mother and a father at home. All three are now productive tax paying citizens with their own families. None were druggies, none did any jail time and all three show great affection for each other and their parents. I don't know the magic formula, I just know it takes to two to make the marriage work and it takes a commitment that seems lacking these days. Religion played a big role in our lives, but I am sure that you athiests and agnostics will have something erudite and cute to say about that part of it.
Life? Since this is the U.S. where almost no sentence is written in stone unless "without parole" or "and a day" is tacked to the end, sure, maybe it'll scare them enough to not do it again. They'll probably be out in two years anyway.
i believe in love but love dont always last i wish it did thats why i am not married and have not been married to many people take that statement to literal and can abuse there family if they are not happy
United Kingdom
I believe in love))))
Truth is I think women just take a lot less crap than they used to. A man who hits a woman is now viewed as a man who has a problem. It used to be a woman's fault for "doing something" that made her man beat her when he was in a drunken rage, or angry with his life lot in general and would take it out on her. Society now condemns a woman for putting up with that type of behavior, and encourages her to end the marriage. To view the other side of it: men no longer have the same societal blessings to resort to any method to "keep his woman under control." It's easier for a woman to have a wandering eye now that we move freely in society. I think that some people (both male and female) are predisposed to cheating due to either ego or a tendency to desire attention. But when a man's world consisted mostly of other males (remember the 'affair with the secretary' stereotype?), and a woman's world consisted mostly of other mothers, it was harder to find potential partners. The world is more integrated, and people are far lonelier than they used to be.
Sooooo, your answer is??? ;)
It doesnt happen often, but I'm with BEC44, and your answer is...?
Rats. I edited that because I'm determined to get my "diatribes" under control. I must have edited out that part. (lol)
Answer is: yes. But good luck finding someone emotionally stable enough to make a good partner ...
(hee hee)
Well, duh, you found someone.
Other women's skills aren't as good? :-`)
LMAO--have a shot and a beer--it will be OK.
Wasn't there an O. Henry story where a woman was proud of her black eye because she considered it proof of his love? (Of course, I reckon people should take into account O. Henry was a man, eh?)
If his story genuinely reflected 19th century mores, women sure were dumb back then, huh? :-)
"Til death do us part" is what makes it so easy to get a divorce these days. Lifetime contracts are not legally enforcable. In the eyes of the law, marriage vows aren't worth the breath it takes to speak them.
Pray tell, how does the "Till death do us part" make it EASIER to get a divorce. The vows don't mean anything if those giving these vows aren't serious.
Read my original comment. In the eyes of the law, "til death do us part" makes the marriage contract a lifetime contract and, therefore, not legaly enforcable. Either party can end it at any time the choose, for any reason, or no reason at all.
I repeat, how does that make it EASIER to get a divorce? These days would it not be just as easy if that phrase was not in the vows?
The vows are a religious commitment, not a legal one.
Absolutely, but when you get a marriage license you make it a civil and legal matter. Therefore, it is the court, not the church that establishes the ground rules for what is and what is not enforcable. The courts have decided that lifetime contracts are NEVER enforcable. Too many people (most, in fact) don't think about what they're doing before entering into a marriage. Marriage is not the result of wonderful feelings. It is a lifetime commitiment, before God, for two people to become as one in God's eyes. Unfortunately, very few people turn to God when things get a lttle difficult in their marriage. They turn to the law. And the law says they can just walk away whenever they want to. Sad, isn't it?
Yes it is sad. My wife and I just celebrated our 50th anniversary and we went through good and bad times (economically), but we stuck it out. My wife deserves most of the credit.
This comment was deleted.
[2 points] 4 years ago by deleted user Reply`Til death do us part?
Isn't sticking in there, sometimes, cowardice rather than bravery?
`Wonder if forcing oneself to stick in there could be one reason why so many crime shows show so many spousal homicides?
`Think people think it's more socially acceptable than divorce? This comment comes to mind as I consider all the "crimes of passion." Why?
Why do they hurt each other when a divorce, instead, would be a much saner decision?
I agree with your first sentence, it does take some bravery to admit there is no use to staying together. I don't think it is greatly socially unacceptable to be divorced these days and I just don't know why people that loved each other, at one time, would let themselves get to the point where they would hurt each other instead of giving up on the marriage and divorcing?
I don't know either. Maybe in the old days people couldn't control their emotions as well as they can today. Maybe violence seemed more acceptable than divorce? Having not been in either situation, I'm just guessing. I think if there are more pluses to staying married stay married. If there are more minuses, get divorced.
A union that has run out of love has no pluses in my experiences, only suffering that isn't needed and is no benefit to the well being of either person.
Simple list #1 - get divorced: no love (-), not friends (-), do nothing together (-), don't sleep together (-), no sex (-), eat meals together (+), watch some TV together (+), split the bills (+). Five minuses. Three pluses.
Simple list #2 - stay married: some love (0), friends (+), do some stuff together (0), eat meals together (+), split the bills (+), watch some TV together (+), sleep together (+), no sex (-). Five pluses, Two nulls, One minus.
A case where the pluses outweigh the minuses.
Well, okay, ...just barely. :-)
It really takes a lot of work to make a marriage work. A lot of sacrifice on both sides. Marriage this day is trivialized. My wife and I got married at the age of 20, in 1958, and just celebrated our 50th anniversary. Except for my military service overseas, our kids always had a mother and a father at home. All three are now productive tax paying citizens with their own families. None were druggies, none did any jail time and all three show great affection for each other and their parents. I don't know the magic formula, I just know it takes to two to make the marriage work and it takes a commitment that seems lacking these days. Religion played a big role in our lives, but I am sure that you athiests and agnostics will have something erudite and cute to say about that part of it.
Sooooo, your answer is????? Is that cute enough??
Life without parole? No.
Life? Since this is the U.S. where almost no sentence is written in stone unless "without parole" or "and a day" is tacked to the end, sure, maybe it'll scare them enough to not do it again. They'll probably be out in two years anyway.
i believe in love but love dont always last i wish it did thats why i am not married and have not been married to many people take that statement to literal and can abuse there family if they are not happy